i feel like i'm back in junior high. Old questions about love are popping up in my head that i chose to ignore and forget instead of answer... Like how can you tell between infatuation and love? How can you know it's really from God or just a trick in your head?

i fear more and more each day i will become one of those relationship-defected christian single guys who have never talked to women and don't know a thing about dating, and are doomed to be a bachelor for the rest of their lives. Although devoted to God, lonely and devoid of human relationship...

that would really suck. makes me depressed.

hahaha and don't give me the "you won't be lonely if you're satisfied in God" answer. That answer is the one i use all the time, but is totally devoid of how to deal with the realities of our human state. I have tried to appease myself with that answer for years, and i am still alone.

God, i don't get it. Can that cliche answer really be truth? Can i truly be satisfied in You only? God, i know it's impatient of me... but i feel like i'm running out of time before i am forever doomed to a life of lonliness...

I feel like i'm still that junior higher that has no idea what to do with his new found feelings... except they're not new anymore. They've been there for so long, and i still don't get it. It's so stupid.