Lonely and in love

Your Heart Is An Empty Room

Home's face: how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

And all you see
Is where else you could be
When you're at home
Out on the street
Are so many possibilities
To not be alone
-dcfc

there are some days when the amount of my insecurity glares out of my mask of confidence like a skeleton spilling out of a closet. I end the day feeling drained from the battle i fight to let my confidence be defined by God alone.

I am set on gaining the attention of certain people so much that it actually cripples my ability to love.

part of me is constantly wondering, through good season and bad... am I always going to be like this? why is it whenever I see the hope that love for me from another person just might be possible... i don't believe it? Why do i STILL not trust hope? am I STILL jaded? God, there is so much in me that must grow. There is so much in me that still needs to change. And the biggest thing is my fear that you won't hold me when I fall; that you just use hope to play with my heart...

but can i finally grow up and know that the hope you give me isn't based on my desires? Your hope promises a blessing that far surpasses what I want. You dash my hopes on the rocks so that i will let go of them and grasp Your hope. (I am still trying to convince myself that this last paragraph is really true).