Bitterness is one of my greatest enemies...

and this past week in which i've written nothing... i'v e been thinking about the meaning of love... i mean i keep saying love is what will change this world and it's the only solution to all the problems in the world... but do i really know what love is? love is something beyond my grasp. My heart is not big enough to know what it is, and if i don't know what it is... how can i give it? Does my heart really have the capacity to give true love....? I am stumped at how limited my human heart is, and how every time i fail it leads to bitterness. See, the love i think is love, isn't really love. It's so self centered. I try to love to gain love from others... can i just love without even a response from the other person that i want...? or is taht what love is? because that seems so imperfect....

so i'm utterly confused... except if I seek the love of God, His love will change my heart and some strange reaction in my sould occurs in which i love others... gee wiz, love is more complicated than ever. I wonder if i can EVER express true agape love...