just found this old blog. I've moved to wordpress. http://daniellui.wordpress.com

this is important. I was walking around campus, and saw so many orange shirts. I then had a vision of a crowd of people and all of a sudden an orange color, almost like fire, would consume one person at a time, and then go on to the next person, and the next, until the sky was orange. People were set on fire. It was like the buddhist priests that would set themselves on fire in protest of injustice in vietnam, but this fire did not kill those that it consumed. God is raising up a new generation of burning priests. But this fire does not destroy those it consumes, but enraptures and empowers them. that fire is a message of power, a message of justice, a message of mercy, a message of hope, a message of freedom. God is raising up a prophet army, who ride on chariots of fire.

RISE UP. where are my prophets? Where are the ones who will stand among the people and proclaim the coming of my kingdom? I am raising them up! I am raising up a prophet army. They will pronounce the sins of the people and bring this campus on its knees. And it will be on their knees that this campus will transform the world. And I will set this campus on fire with a passion for the kingdom and for the defeat of the darkness of this world. My army does not arise from the seminaries. It is coming out of the places seen as spiritual deserts.

A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD [a] ;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God. [b]
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."
A voice says, "Cry out."

i hear your voice from down below
the sweetest sound i've ever known
you call me closer to the edge
to take a step and just let it go

i know i want you
thats why i'm afraid

can you feel me falling for you
feel me falling
cause i fear i'm falling for you
i fear i'm falling

i wont pretend that youre naive
its hard to hide whats plain to see
but i will try to stand my ground
and catch the breath you take from me

i know i want you
thats why i'm afraid

can you feel me falling for you
feel me falling
cause i fear i'm falling for you
i fear i'm falling..falling..falling..falling

can you feel me falling for you
feel me falling
and i wanna feel you falling for me
feel you falling...

dont be the one that got away
you cant just go, my heart will break
i have to show you how i really feel
you are the reason i believe
that love is a possibility
you are the dream i never thought was real

can you feel my falling for you
feel me falling
and i wanna feel you falling for me
feel you falling..falling..falling..falling.

-Tyrone Wells

man. i told myself yesterday i wasn't going to think about it. now it can't escape my mind. but this stupid song keeps coming on my itunes shuffle.

God, help me this to me... surrender my insecurity....

and just trust you. You've been teaching me to trust you even in the midst of You not meeting my own desires. I've been learning what disappointment means. But God... is that all there is? What is Your will, and how come it's never what I want? Are you really saving up something really good for me or are You toying with my emotions?

ah... the troubles of an impatient heart.

Lonely and in love

Your Heart Is An Empty Room

Home's face: how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

And all you see
Is where else you could be
When you're at home
Out on the street
Are so many possibilities
To not be alone
-dcfc

there are some days when the amount of my insecurity glares out of my mask of confidence like a skeleton spilling out of a closet. I end the day feeling drained from the battle i fight to let my confidence be defined by God alone.

I am set on gaining the attention of certain people so much that it actually cripples my ability to love.

part of me is constantly wondering, through good season and bad... am I always going to be like this? why is it whenever I see the hope that love for me from another person just might be possible... i don't believe it? Why do i STILL not trust hope? am I STILL jaded? God, there is so much in me that must grow. There is so much in me that still needs to change. And the biggest thing is my fear that you won't hold me when I fall; that you just use hope to play with my heart...

but can i finally grow up and know that the hope you give me isn't based on my desires? Your hope promises a blessing that far surpasses what I want. You dash my hopes on the rocks so that i will let go of them and grasp Your hope. (I am still trying to convince myself that this last paragraph is really true).

disappointment, regret.

hope, trust.

It's like those two sets of values are always battling in my head. it practically drives me insane.


I'm doing better than i did before, but damnit, it still hurts.

how come everybody i like would never like me, and everyone who likes me i would never like?

hahahahaha life is full of ironies.

Anyways, ironies would be fine if they didn't end up being so complicated and seem to ruin my life everytime hahahaha. anyways, that's enough vaguness for this post. goodbye.

i've been in one of those moods these days... where i can be with a million people i know really well but still feel lonely. that feeling really bugs me. why can't i just enjoy it? and i try to look like it on the outside, but it's all a facade.

maybe it's because my mind has been elsewhere. i was thinking the whole day about... uhm... well never mind. my mind's always on this, but i'll refrain from making this entry anymore emo than it already is.

in other news, i'm part of the pen 15 club now. it's quite the club to be in.

how long must i wait? and how much of the waiting is really cowardice? and how much am i using the waiting to learn more about myself and God?

i'm not sure what exactly i'm waiting for. I guess for you. but what exactly i'm waiting for you to do... i'm not sure.

i've been avoiding lately. unhealthily and selfishly as a form of protection for myself. but if it were really selfless, it would be to protect you, and to keep confusion from you.

I'm trying to grapple that my acceptance in God's eyes is all I need. It's such a hard concept to live by.

how vague can i be. hahahaha.