Watching for change

Sunday, October 30, 2005

in a culture in which critical thinking is the core of our thought... i think we need to take a step back sometimes.

there's a point where deconstructionism has a limit. Where everything you see in the world is empty and black and white. It comes to the point where you have to deconstruct deconstructionism itself. And you realize, it just makes you see the world as screwed and fake.

I've been thinking... there must be a deconstruction that isn't so bitter. A deconstruction that doesn't just stop at seeing everything as empty and of empty function and forms without power. There must be a deconstruction that sees the current purposelessness of life and society... but also see the purpose that was originally destined for our lives. uh oh. i just used a worda deconstructionists are scared out of their pants of. Destined.

maybe destiny is a scary thing because they never experienced destiny. Or they've only encountered counterfeit destinies. to the point where they've given up hope on finding that destiny. Or maybe their rejection of destiny is a cry for something so infallible and unquestionable that no matter how much they deconstruct and peel the layers off of this destiny, they would never be able to find nothing.

Is there a deconstructionism that leads to the discovery of genuiness, reality and purpose? Maybe the depressed existentialism that used to scare the crap out of me about deconstructionism is not the deconstructionist's fault, but the world's fault for being so fake.

But there is a limit to this picking apart of social norms and traditions. There is a point where this re-iteration of solomon, where "everything is meaningless" becomes bitterness and anger. And bitterness and anger blind us from seeing the good.

Can we see the good in everything? And even if we can't find any good in these things... can we still love them?

Everyone's so caught up in "everyone is a sinner". I couldn't agree more... but i think that people forget that in everyone, there is good. somewhere inside the dark hearts we possess, there are the fingerprints of a Creator who declared "it is good," and continued to believe in that goodness so much that He sacrificed everything, even His own son, to see the potential to do good unleashed in humanity.

There is so much partial loving these days. We've analyzed everything and see faults in many things, and good things in everything. We choose to ignore the faults in things and pretend they're not there as we embrace the goodness of things. Can we embrace it all? goodness and faults all together?

the optimist's essentialist deconstructionism. what a tension that title implies.

Deconstruction that ends in pride and bitterness... is pointless and damaging.

Optimism unbridled leads to disapointment and regret.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

what is a guy to do if he meets a woman who matches the whole "list"... and then she just simply disappears? like before he even really gets to know her, she just disappears. hahaha. but can somebody really meet the criteria of the "list" after just one interaction? meh. who knows.

makes a guy ponder for a long time... "what if...?"

makes the guy wish he never met her.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

God...

get me out of this.

In the beginning of the week, i felt i was going into a new season

now i find myself in the same mess i've always been in.


WAKE ME UP

Monday, October 03, 2005

i desperately need your peace... your love... your faithfulness... to be a reality in my life. May I live in the shadow of your love and faithfulness that stretches to the sky. May I have peace that overcomes all hardships and joys.