this has been a tough half quarter for me. At the end of every single week, it feels like God has broken me to the limit, and i'm as bare as can be. Then God proves that wrong the next week. I feel like Abram right now. God kept promising him a son, but the odds just kept going against it, even after he had his son when he had to sacrifice him. It feels the same with my calling to join the movement of unity on the UCSD campus. I go through the huge battle this break of deciding not to do EAP next year to stay at UCSD to join God in whatever work there is to bring fellowships together, and it just seemed every single week i got back, something worse happens, and other things get me depressed (school, people.... school). But the end of this week felt different. Yeah, i felt torn apart again, but somehow hope is sprinkled in my distress... A supernatural hope, mind you. I don't think it's very easy to have hope considering some of these situations i'm in... but nonetheless, there is hope.

I wonder how long this tearing apart and brokenness will last... my spirit, mind, soul, heart and body are tired. I need those streams of refreshing, Holy Spirit.